


Fixing Things

by KnightNinja13



Series: Fixing Things [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-08 00:53:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 20,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1920558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnightNinja13/pseuds/KnightNinja13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Jesse had someone to help him fix things after the egg incident? What if that person cared enough for him to do it without a second thought? What if things had ended differently for him and Rachel? There are so many what if's with this couple and I'm about to explore a few of them. Not sure if the rating will stay the same...it probably will though. Plot BASED on St. Berry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fixing Things

**Author's Note:**

> Story originally posted on fanfiction.net

It was almost time. Any second now Rachel would come running out, a huge smile on her face, ready to be embraced by Jesse. That's what could've happened. That's what should have happened. Instead, Jesse stood alone with a pained expression on his face and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline hiding behind the many parked cars in the parking lot. I prayed that Rachel would see what was so obviously written all over my best friends face. It was hard to believe the fact that he had agreed to my terms of friendship but now was not the time or place to be remembering things in the past.

Rachel was close, in fact, she was doing exactly what I had pictured her doing. I was surprised at how fast she was actually running, I never really saw her as the athletic type, or Jesse's type for that matter yet she was. And as she got closer I held back the urge to yell out from my place behind a dark blue wreck of a car and tell her to really look at Jesse's face. Why couldn't she see that something was wrong? Was she seriously that naive? My answer came when the first egg hit her. Her face fell immediately and her sparkling eyes dulled with sadness, betrayal and disbelief. They were all out now, laughing, waiting for Him to finish it.

A silent "I'm sorry." was whispered with his eyes as he broke the egg on her head, but the vegan didn't hear it. I guess the tears we're really as blinding as they looked. My thoughts were silenced after noticing Jesse's eyes as he watched her run in the opposite direction, away from him. The hurt was more pronounced now; I cursed him silently for acting indifferent about it. The rest of the group didn't seem to care about our "oh so respected" captain.

I stepped out from my place, the only one who hadn't gone through with it. He noticed and the light in his eyes flashed back into place for a mere second before he turned and made his way to our bus. He was giving me permission to go after her, to fix things for him. I sighed and weaved my way through the other cars making sure no one noticed my absence other than Jesse himself. Now where did that idiot go? I laughed to myself as I realized the real idiot was mopping on a school bus that was taking him back to our school.

"Did you come to rub it in?" I turned surprised she hadn't gone to tell everyone in New Directions what had happened. I smiled and joined her on the warm asphalt making sure my dress covered everything nicely. "To be honest, I wasn't really up for it. I came to apologize for the other members... including Jesse." she sniffled at the name. "Why should I accept?" I knew she wasn't talking about everyone else. She was focused on the person who had taken the final blow.

"Because I know him. Because he means it..." she looked at me questioningly. "Did you not notice the way he was looking at you? His body was practically screaming to run to you and shield you from the eggs. And, if you ask me, that's saying something because Jesse or his body never think about the well-being of others." she sat there listening, the tears gone. "I'm trying to figure out why you even came after me. I mean the bus left."

I laughed which earned another confused glance. "Jesse's in charge. The egg thing" I said pointing in the direction where the incident had occurred," was necessary to keep his "image" up. He's not known for caring. For anyone." "Yet you trust him enough to ditch your only ride?" I smirked. "I'm a big girl, Rachel, no boy is going to keep me from going home." she laughed. "I know you're probably scarred being a Vegan and all but-" "How did you know I was vegan?" my eyes widened. "You really do believe he doesn't care."

She turned away from me and looked down at her hands. "You're surprised?" I nodded. "Shocked actually. The way he talks about you I figured he had told you already." she sucked in a breath and I smiled to myself. Jesse will be Jesse. We sat in silence for a while before I decided we had thought about whatever we were thinking long enough. I quickly got up and dusted myself off. Offering her my hand I understood what made her different. She was just like him but not all the same. She was the emotion he needed in his life and, damn it all, I was going to make sure things would be the way they should be with both of them.

"C'mon, let's get you cleaned up." We didn't talk about what had just happened anymore or anything related to it. We didn't act like we were enemies or best friends. We acted like people. Compared to the way some of the Vocal Adrenaline members acted this was a decent experience. When we finally made it out of the building it was dark outside and all the cars had left. Well, except for one. "Is that...?" "Don't worry he's gone." I said dragging her to Jesse's abandoned car. "Now, the keys should be in the ignition."

While I was fumbling around trying to figure out exactly how we were going to exit the parking lot Rachel just stood outside the passenger door staring. "You never told me exactly why you apologized for him." I shrugged and turned the car on. "I told you. I know him." "But why?" I sighed. "Do you want a ride or not?" she hesitated slightly before sliding into the familiar leather interior of what was the preferred St. James vehicle.

"He got on the bus even though he drove himself." I said after pulling up at a stop light. "He wouldn't just leave his car without someone to take it back for him unscathed." "But why apologize?" I sighed once again. "You're telling me it wasn't obvious that he was doing it unwillingly? That you were too blinded by your brief happiness to notice that his eyes were telling you to run away? You, Rachel Berry, are the most unobservant female I've ever met in my life." she frowned but I knew she finally understood.


	2. Pretending

Driving her home hadn't been all that bad. When we finally arrived she got out did a slightly weird head bow and thanked me with an "I hope we become great friends." That had been about an hour ago. Afterwards I drove to Breadsticks, got Jesse some food and made my way to his humble abode. I would have expected him to be asleep by now but no, his lights were on and the sound of his piano floated through the air.

"No use disturbing him." I said to myself as I squatted down to remove the spare key from a potted plant. He stopped playing as soon as I set the food out on the table. "Thanks, I guess." I sucked in a breath then put on my fake performance smile. "Well, if that's how you really feel..." He smirked. "You wear that fake smile too well. I prefer your real one." I rolled my eyes. "Look who's talking?" He shrugged and poked his fork into his salad. I crossed my arms waiting for him to say something. When he didn't I sighed, something I had been doing a lot lately, and made my way to his piano.

Playing was relaxing in a way and only Jesse knew that I was capable. Losing track of time was really not what I planned on happening, neither was Jesse wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing his lips into the crook of my neck. I stopped playing and turned towards him which ended up with him pressing his lips onto mine.

This was not happening. I pushed him off and surprised both of us by slapping him. "And here I thought that was what you've always dreamed about." he growled. "You're serious? You think just because I have feelings for you that that was okay?" "No. I think that because you have feelings for me you should take advantage of my state of my mind!" I scowled. "Really? That's what you think?" he just looked at me.

"Jesse, I love you just as much as you love Rachel. That is why I stayed behind and fixed things for you. If I had known you were going to ruin them again then your car would still be in that parking lot." "Rachel..." "She was still in the lot when you left. The only people that know about the eggs are Vocal Adrenaline, for now." "You're blackmailing me now?" I laughed "No, we both know Rachel is going to tell them with or without a direct apology from the person she was truly hurt by" he stiffened, "but, it wouldn't hurt to see if admitting your feelings will help."

I jumped when he slammed his fist onto the keys. "I will admit nothing unless it's true!" "Then admit you love her!" "Why should I?" "Because if you don't tell her, Fin Hudson will and she's going to pretend to love him until it feels real! You'll lose her forever...I don't want you to be a shell, Jesse!" he didn't respond. Why would he? At this point the only other thing to do was to let him sleep on it or walk out.

I walked to the door and urged myself to keep quiet but a sob ripped through my chest. Apparently Rachel had rubbed off on me...not knowing I had started to cry, this was new. "I don't want you to be me. You deserve better than pretending, Jess. You deserve better than your stupid unneeded reputation. I know you didn't want to go through with it today but you had to. You had to be Jesse St. James. Well, I'm done with him. I hope that soon you'll be too." and that was that.


	3. Dance Class

"And a 5, 6, 7, 8!" C'mon, Es, just like we practiced. I inhaled deeply eyeing my current dance partner. OK, he seemed able. Aiming a subtle nod in his direction to show him I was ready I began my run. In the back of my head the instructor's voice called the counts. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, jump!" The last part was all me and it stayed that way until I was above my partners head doing a forward split which would allow him to place his hands in the necessary places needed to hold me up in that position.

"Yes, exactly what I asked for! Bravo to you and...what's the girls name again, Chase?" I rolled my eyes as Chase set me down. "My name is Esmeralda, thank you." Chase tensed up a bit at the sudden silence which followed my response. Obviously people never spoke their minds around here but I wasn't in the best of moods to keep my annoyance bottled up.

I had managed to get Rachel's number off of Jesse's phone before slamming the door as I made last night's dramatic exit from his place and so far I learned that he had done nothing. Hell, he probably didn't even show for school...that wouldn't help stop rumors from flying since I hadn't shown up either. I sighed. What was I worried about? No one would notice my absence, not even Shelby would miss me at Vocal Adrenaline's practice today.

"Hey, Miss Esmeralda, if you're going to act like that, you need to leave my studio." Really, this guy was going to pull that card? "Fine." I wasn't in much of a hurry and thinking about it I wasn't that mad. That didn't stop me from high tailing it out of there after grabbing my bag from one of the benches lining one side of the room. Dance could come later, after piano, after Rachel.

My head was so wrapped up in thinking of way to convince Jesse without talking to him that I ran face first into a very nicely built person wearing skinny jeans, combat-esque boots, a black shirt with a fitting jacket and a scarf. Oh gosh. Think of the Devil and He shall appear. "Why are you in such a hurry?" He asked. I didn't look up at him. "Es, please, I know you probably don't want to talk to or see me right now but -" "Hold up, Jess, did the word please seriously just come out of your mouth?" He smiled at my question and I couldn't help but return it with one of my own.

This is how most of our fights always ended. Jesse, or me, acknowledging we were wrong and then going after one another to apologize. It wasn't exactly as romantic as it sounded because, even though we both knew one of us had fallen for the other, we never crossed the line of friendship. Hugging him in the entrance of Swan Ballet Academy I knew that last night's kiss didn't count.


	4. Apology

"So now that we're all buddy-buddy again when are you going to go to McKinley High, sweep Rachel into your arms and admit that she's the only one for you?" Jesse laughed at my overly bubbly and theatrical way of phrasing the statement, causing him to almost choke on his Grande Starbucks coffee.

"What, you thought I wasn't serious?" I pouted. "Not at all. I was just wondering how it's possible that you're so confident I'm going through with it." My fake pout was erased instantly, taking all other emotion I was feeling with it. I threw my bag over my shoulder and proceeded to get up and leave.

If he was going to insist on being the same then I was going to insist on keeping my promise. What I wasn't expecting was the sudden pressure I felt pulling on my lower arm. Turning back I saw the serious Jesse, the seriously hurt Jesse that had lost its main source of happiness. "I was joking. Don't go." his words were pleading in a way yet his tone was more of a "do as I say this instant". So I did.

We sat mostly in silence until it dawned on me that Jesse was skipping VA practice. "Don't worry. Shelby cancelled all Vocal Adrenaline activities for a good month." My eyes widened. "I told her what we did. The egging of a New Directions member, it's going to cost us some much needed practice." he chuckled to himself and ran a hand through his hair.

"OK, who are you and what have you done to Jesse St. James?" I asked raising an eyebrow. He took my hands in his and for an instant I felt like the world had stopped revolving. "Yesterday, after you left, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that you were right. I care a lot about you and a lot about Rachel. Enough so that I will do everything in my power to make it up to both of you." I felt a sudden wetness on my face and I was internally glad I hadn't worn any make up today although I was going to ask Rachel how she managed to control the waterworks later on. I was beginning to get tired of unknowingly breaking down, and this was only the second freakin' time in a two day time span!


	5. Phone Call

"What in the world was that, Jesse?" I had been holding in my anger throughout the whole of the New Directions "Give up the Funk" performance. I didn't know what bothered me more, the fact that Jesse had let Rachel show him she was happy alone or the fact that he had lied to me. "What do you mean?" He asked nonchalantly. "Really, Jess, you're going to pull that one after it has clearly been shown to the whole of Vocal Adrenaline that McKinley High might actually beat us this year? No, scratch that. You're going to pull that after Rachel showed you up? After you told me that things were back to the way they should be between you two?" He just stood there.

When was he going to take me seriously? When was he going to take himself seriously? At this point we were back to practicing for regionals and apparently Jesse was back to being himself. We were also back to arguing constantly. I swear, if this continues, I will end up forcing him to apologize or resort to killing him.

"You have that look on your face again, Es." I looked up to see Jesse had moved up closer and was now leafing through one of my piano songbooks. "And what look might that be?" I asked, anger still dripping from my voice. He chuckled. "Look, I'm sorry, if that means anything." "Well, it doesn't." I bit back.

Sighing he set the book down and ran his hands through his hair. "Esmeralda, please, can't you see that I'm trying? Caring, it's hard and I never understood how you or Rachel managed to put up with me when I clearly wasn't worth it." Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He was not going to make me….ugh who am I kidding? You're such a girl, Es. "Jesse, I'm not blind. I think you're the one that needs glasses here. I never said you weren't trying I just…you really need to hurry." I said tightening the hood of my sweat shirt and making my way out of the room.

I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of making me do all of his dirty work although, snooping around McKinley's campus wouldn't hurt. Not only would I be able to dish out some juicy gossip on the competition but I might be able to catch a few details on the very girl that had caused this whole mess. Not that Jesse wasn't at fault either….I smiled to myself as I got settled into the black leather interior of my eggplant purple convertible BMW. It was time to give Miss Berry a much needed phone call. "Hey, Rachel…."


	6. Hallway Randevouz

"Hey, Rachel, it's me Esmeralda? Yeah, I just wanted to tell you that you were amazing today and I also wanted to see if you maybe wanted to grab some lunch off campus tomorrow?"  
.  
.  
.  
She had sounded so surprised when she realized it was me on the phone I couldn't help but laugh out loud. We agreed to meet up around 11:30 after she rehearsed a song she might use in glee club later on but, of course, I would be there earlier than that.

Driving from Carmel to McKinley wasn't anything exciting. Once I get there it felt like a ghost town. Only a few cars here and there and it was obvious none of them belonged to the students. Well, that made up my mind.

I parked my car in a spot far from the school itself, switched my flip flops with my black Pour La Victoire Adriane Zipper Suede Booties and threw the Rebecca Minkoff Triple Chain Clutch that lay on the passenger seat over my shoulder. Today would be rather interesting…now, to find a way in.

"Hey, Hottie, what's your name?" I turned towards the voice's owner ready to slap a perverted loser and what I got was exactly that. Whoever this guy was he clearly spent a lot of time to himself. I chose to keep it that way and simply ignore him and pretend to look at…..oh my God, was I lucky or what?

As the red-ish brown haired stranger stalked closer I walked. Almost through him, to the somewhat attractive male in a wheel chair that was making his way to the entrance. "Hey, Artie, wait up!" I yelled as I jogged my way up to him. "Hi, uh, sorry do I know you?" I laughed. "Not really, I just didn't feel like talking to that potential stalker back there." He raised an eyebrow and looked behind me then smiled.

"Understandable. That's Jacob by the way and I'm…apparently you already know who I am." I smiled back. "Yeah, sorry about that, I'm Esmeralda. One of the performers you 'out funked' yesterday." His blue eyes narrowed behind his glasses and instantly the atmosphere became tense. I backed off slightly not losing eye contact. "OK, that reaction was to be expected but before you shut me out, I'm nothing like the other VA members. In fact, I came today because I have a lunch date with Rachel."

His expression softened a bit and I relaxed. "I don't know why but I believe you, Esmeralda." I smiled again. "You can call me Es, all my friends….well, the few that I have, they call me Es." I extended my hand in order to shake his but was caught off guard when he took it and gently brushed his lips on the back side. He smirked at my blush. "Well, Es, since lunch isn't for a while and I'm one day ahead in all of my classes, would you like a tour?" Still somewhat flustered all I could do was nod in agreement and follow as he made his way inside.

In the amount of time we had spent introducing ourselves the parking lot had filled up nicely which, in turn, meant that the hallways were now crowded with students. It was nice seeing the way Artie took on the crowd like it was nothing. I could see that one would get used to navigating the halls with everyone looking down on you but it seemed as though he did it alone. No one at Carmel would be able to do that, it just wasn't part of those spoiled brats' nature. Then again, wasn't I one of them?

"Hey, Artie, who's the eye candy?" I was snapped out of my thoughts by a Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. "Puck, this is Esmeralda." There was a hint of indifference and a twinge of repressed anger between the two. A past feud maybe? Puck didn't really seem like the type of guy that would be friends, or acquaintances, with Artie under normal circumstances.

"Hi." I said raising my hand in what was a sad excuse of a wave. He returned it with something similar before giving a quick "See you around." to my guide and making his way elsewhere. "Pay no mind to him. He got his ex preggers and now we have to put up with him in Glee Club because he feels guilty."

I looked over my shoulder knowing he wouldn't be there anyway and gave his lost presence a sad smile. "I don't think that's it." "What did you say?" I turned back to Artie and plastered on my 'show face'. "Don't worry about it, it was nothing." He frowned but kept whatever comment he had to himself and we just kept on our way.

This was so different. At Carmel nobody really knew anyone outside their preferred social circle. Jesse was my social circle and in a way I was his. Here everyone did still keep to their own friends but at the same time interacted with the people around them. I stuck out like a sore thumb next to Artie.

"Does it bother you?" I whispered to him. "What?" I rolled my eyes. "The whispering, they're talking like we can't hear." He smiled and patted my hand which I had forgotten he was still holding. Was that it? People thought I was with him? The thought wasn't a bad one but I wasn't even enrolled here, Artie and I would be another he said, she said Rachel/Jesse waiting to happen.

"Does it bother you?" He asked, repeating my question. I thought about it. Yes, maybe it wouldn't work out for real but, this wasn't real. This was what other people assumed it was and I was never one to care about others perceptions of me. I knew that wasn't what Artie was asking though; we had been holding hands since he walked me in, what was the point of letting go now?

"Not at all." No, it didn't bother me one bit. It actually made me feel something, nothing uber special but it was something. At least, maybe the few hours I would spend with the charming, un-phased, Artie would help me confirm the fact that I wasn't in any way turning into the Jesse St. James I had promised to leave I mean, I had already pretty much abandoned my plans to snoop.


	7. Impossible

This was definitely not Carmel High. Even when I got stared at it felt different. Judgmental in a good way if that made sense. If Rachel hadn't done anything to change Jesse while he had attended McKinley, the atmosphere probably had.

Even the members of Glee club weren't the worst. Puck had his reasons for being there but you could tell he enjoyed it. Quin, Santana, Brittany, Mike, Tina, everybody else…..they started off secretly wanting more and that's what they got.

That's what I had learned in the four hours Artie had dragged me all over the campus. The library, the cafeteria, the gym, it had nothing on the classroom they used for Glee club. A stranger would definitely feel at home here. I smiled to myself at that thought.

"Your real smile suits you better than the one you used after seeing Puck." I looked at Artie in surprise and he just shrugged. "You can tell, if you're looking hard enough. If you don't it looks the same." His comments were not necessarily false. Jesse had said something along those lines before so I knew it was true. It was just difficult to not fake it. "After a while I guess it comes naturally." I answered while admiring the glossy black grand piano on the far side of the room.

"Do you play?" I nodded. "Play something." I turned back to him. "I'd rather not." He chuckled. "Are you bad or something?" "Not at all, I get lose track of time when I play so…." He nodded in understanding. "You should go and see if she's done yet. It's almost 11:25." I smiled and made my way to the door when I realized something.

"Artie, where exactly am I going?" He laughed. "I'll show you." I made way as he wheeled his way down the hall and stopped in front of two double doors much like the ones that led to the gym. "Thanks." "No problem." "No seriously, thank you. I hope this isn't the last time we get to walk around these hallways…..or you know…." He frowned. "No need to feel sorry for me." My eyebrows furrowed as I went over what I had said. Oops. "Ha, that's not what I meant. I just wanted to say maybe we could just hang out in general. The way you carry yourself makes it easy to forget you're in a wheelchair, Artie."

I didn't see his face after that, mostly because I had slipped into the auditorium before I could. There were other reasons though. Reasons I really didn't want to think about so, on to find Rachel. That task was a lot easier than I thought it would be. She was on stage, a sad expression on her face, and what looked like a teacher sitting at the piano. Boy, people here sure had a ton of free time.

On stage it was easy to see she let her emotions take over. She would constantly take in deep breaths as if bringing up painful thoughts to the front of her mind was suffocating. I knew it was but I never used my hurt to perform. This might be worth watching.

I decided to sit in one of the seats closer to where I was. I didn't want to ruin my chances of hearing her sing. I can't say I expected to know the song she was going to use but as soon as the man started playing my body froze, instantly regretting choosing to stay. There could only be one reason for picking this song. There could only be one thought going through her head right now. That thought I knew really well.

* * *

_I remember years ago someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love, I did, I did._

_And you were strong and I was not, my illusion, my mistake._

_I was careless, I forgot, I did._

_And now, when all is done there is nothing to say._

_You have gone and so effortlessly._

_You have won._

_You can go ahead, tell them, tell them all I know now._

_Shout it from the roof tops._

_Write it on the skyline._

_All we had is gone now._

_Tell them I was happy and my heart is broken._

_All my scars are open._

_Tell them what I hoped would be impossible._

_Impossible, impossible, impossible._

* * *

The tears that I knew were coming hadn't shown on Rachel's face yet but everything else was there. She was clearly not over Jesse but how could I show him? I thought about it for a second before pulling out my cell phone and pressing record.

* * *

_Falling out of love is hard, falling for betrayal is worst._

_Broken trust and broken hearts I know, I know._

_Thinking all you need is there, building faith on love and words._

_Empty promises will wear I know, I know._

_And now, when all is gone there is nothing to say._

_And if you're done with embarrassing me, on your own you can go ahead, tell them._

_Tell them all I know now._

_Shout it from the roof tops._

_Write it on the skyline._

_All we had is gone now._

_Tell them I was happy and my heart is broken._

_All my scars are open._

_Tell them what I hoped would be impossible._

_Impossible, impossible, impossible,_   _impossible, impossible, impossible, impossible._

* * *

I had to admit, she knew how to belt it out. I couldn't imagine her not being able to do anything and everything. Yes, I agree, she seems to have some qualities that aren't likeable but they're balanced out by her talent and her heart that always rushes into things…..

* * *

_Ooh impossible._

_Yeah._

_Yeah._

_I remember years ago someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love I did, I did._

_Tell them all I know now._

_Shout it from the roof tops._

_Write it on the skyline._

_All we had is gone now._

_Tell them I was happy and my heart is broken._

_All my scars are open._

_Tell them what I hoped would be impossible._

_Impossible, impossible, impossible_ ,  _impossible, impossible, impossible, impossible._

_I remember years ago someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love, I did…_

* * *

The tears were there now and, apparently, so was Finn.


	8. On Stage Confrontation

Originally you could say I had three objectives at the start of the day.

Objective 1: Sneak into McKinley High.

Objective 2: Find out stuff about competition.

Objective 3: Get to Rachel for lunch date.

Two of those I could personally cross off while the other was crossed of for me. Seeing Finn walk out from backstage and attempt to comfort Rachel made another task add itself.

New Objective: Keep Finn away from Jesse's Girl.

This task would allow me to, in a way, use my acting skills. It would also be very entertaining, on my part anyways. This thought made me smirk as I snapped my cell shut.

Making my way down the steps to the stage I quickly put on an expression of worry. I was genuinely worried for her so it wasn't necessarily hard. Being mean to a stranger? That wouldn't be hard either.

"Rachel, oh my God, are you alright?" I asked running up the stage stairs and shoving Finn out of the way to hug her. She sniffled and nodded clearly afraid to talk for the fear of braking down again. "Oh, Rachel, it's alright." I gently pushed her back at arm's length. "You did wonderful; I'm sure whoever it is you were singing to would be a fool not to at least still care for you a smidge bit."

Her lips turned up in a small, barely there smile. I smiled back. "There you go, that's the Rachel I asked to lunch!" At that I heard Finn clear his throat. I rolled my eyes and ignored him reaching into my clutch and pulled out a travel size package of tissues and a compact, handed them to Rachel and then spun on my heel to Finn.

Fake smile obviously in place I gave him a once over. He seemed agitated, not that I cared, and slightly hurt. "Who are you exactly?" I asked already knowing the answer. "The guy you just shoved out of your way." He answered coldly. I laughed. "Oops. You know girls; have to comfort their friends before a guy does." Insert fake smile here.

He returned the smile with his own. "Haven't seen you around here, how do you know Rachel." I pretended not to hear his question by being 'really' intrigued by my O.P.I. Lincoln Park after Dark Matte Polished nails and Alexander McQueen Studded skull ring. He sighed in exasperation and I smiled internally.

"Okay, I'm ready." I turned to see Rachel beaming as if nothing had happened. "Sorry I took so long…" I laughed. "No, it's fine. Well just get something from the cafeteria. Artie showed me where it was." She raised her eyebrows. "You met Artie already?" I nodded.

Finn hadn't left yet which was a slight annoyance but there was no need to let him know...completely. "Do you need something?" He glared. "Look, all I'm trying to do is help Rachel. I don't know-" I cut him off. He was not going to use that bull on me. "You can start by backing off and letting her heal. Just because Jesse is not around does not mean there's nothing there. If you want to be someone's rebound go be Quin's!" His jaw dropped.

I felt accomplished. The fact that Rachel wasn't saying anything kind of helped my side of the argument. I saw it in his face too. He knew I was right. I was just the first to tell him to his face.

"Anyway, Rachel, we should get going." She nodded and made her exit before me giving me time to give Finn my burned-into-your-memory statement. I walked to hive with a serious expression on my face and he looked straight back into my eyes. Perfect.

"Finn, you may not know who I am but I've made it my responsibility to know everything about you and every other potential threat to Jesse. Now, I'm only going to tell you once, if you get in the way of Rachel's happiness I will personally make your life Hell." He kept looking into my eyes as if trying to prove me a liar. "What makes you think I'd let that ass get close to her again?" I smirked.

Obviously my earlier comment hadn't made him budge. Not all the way. I patted his shoulder and pulled him down so my lips were practically centimeters from his ear. "He and I weren't the ones that thought their girlfriend had gotten pregnant through a hot tub." I let him go. "I've also made it my top priority to make them happy so, with all due respect, Mr. Hudson, I believe your ex-girlfriend is waiting for me in the cafeteria."

As far as that conversation went, I felt proud. Today wasn't such a bad day after all. In a way I was a half-step closer to succeeding in renewing the St. Berry couple status. Hmm…. St. Berry? I laughed. Jesse was so going to hear about that one.


	9. A Little Less

Walking into the cafeteria it wasn't hard to find the 'oh so obvious' group of underdogs. I was surprised not to find a sign on the back of each chair saying "avoid me".

"Guys, I'd like you to meet my newest acquaintance, Esmeralda." said Rachel in an overly excited voice, along with a small curtsy type bounce and a dramatic hand motion to go along with it. I smiled and nodded a hello to people I technically didn't need to meet to know.

"Are you and Artie going out?" blurted out a blonde in a skimpy cheer leading costume. Artie smiled apologetically in my direction, I laughed. "No, we just met. He simply helped me find my way." Puck raised his eyebrow at my response but I chose not to acknowledge his reaction.

"Anyways," added Rachel "this is Brittany, Quin, Mercedes, Noah, Tina, Santana, Mike, and Kurt. You've already met Artie." They all gave mumbled hellos. Not including Artie who was still smiling in my direction. "Well, it was really nice to meet you guys…." Silence, I turned to Rachel "ready to get some food?" She nodded.

"Hey, I apologize for what happened with Finn." I said grabbing a salad bowl from one of the food displays. "You don't have to. If you hadn't said something I probably would be back to being his girlfriend right now. So, thank you. I should be healing not pretending to be healed, you know?" I nodded.

Sitting back down at the table was when things really started to take a turn, especially since Finn was there now. I sighed and immediately put on my show face which I seemed to be using a lot today. Upon seeing me the atmosphere became tense and I wasn't the only one who noticed. Santana smirked. "My, my, Finn, what is it with you and attracting drama queens?" Both he and I rolled our eyes. "Please, Satan, if you were going to say something like that you should at least get to know me as well as I know you." Her eyes narrowed as Kurt's and Mercedes' widened.

I had used their nickname for her on purpose. They probably thought it was a coincidence but they were a part of Glee and I was a part of Vocal Adrenaline. "Now, Finn already knows what I know, or some of it anyways, but you don't." She crossed her arms. "Then show me, Angel Face." I smiled. Everyone was officially paying attention to nothing but our conversation. "I know why you're bitter all the time." She lost her composure immediately but regained it just as fast laughing. "Oh, really, then tell me, why am I so bitter?"

I ignored her and proceeded to pop the lid off the salad container and prepare it to my liking. "Well, do you know or not?" I took a forkful and chewed. I could tell she was becoming agitated and everyone else was just dying to know. "Do you  _really_  want me to out you in front of everyone after you've slept with so many guys to try and hide it?" I raised my eyebrow and when her arms fell back to her side it was obvious she had given up.

She quickly got up and left with Brittany following leaving everyone else shocked. Finn coughed. "So you do know everything." "What made you think I was lying? Quin's pregnancy isn't exactly worldwide news you know. Plus the hot tub thing is something only you two could've known." Quin winced at the memory and so did Puck.

"Either way, what I told Santana any of you could have done. All you had to know was that was that she slept around." "So you really didn't know?" asked an amazed Kurt. I took another fork full of salad before responding. "That would be called bluffing. I don't bluff. I don't blackmail either." I noticed Finn relax at the last part.

"Lunch is almost over, Es." I looked over to Rachel. "Guess I should be going then." I threw my trash away in the nearest disposal bin. "Hey, Finn," I called waiting for him to turn around "what do you say we call truce?" He smiled hesitantly and waved goodbye as Rachel led me to the parking lot.

Finally in my car and ready to leave and idea formed in my head. "Do you think a pool party would be a good idea?" Rachel didn't look too sure. "It'll be fun. Everyone in Glee can come. I'll send you the address, no?" "I don't know…" "Ask them and if you don't show up then you don't show up. No harm done." She smiled and nodded that being my cue to drive out of the parking lot and heading back home.

There were a lot of things going through my head one of them being the fact that I hadn't really accomplished anything that I had wanted to but I did have fun. Maybe that's what I needed. A little more fun and a little less worrying about a guy who didn't even try to be honest with himself. This gave me another idea. Well, it was more of a possibly reckless decision but I knew that in the long run it might help. After all, it was just as Rachel said, I need to stop pretending to be healed and actually start working on it.


	10. Keeping a Promise

I had not expected for people to still be at Carmel when I got back. It was mostly members of Vocal Adrenaline but it was a little late for rehearsal. I had gone straight home to edit Finn out of the Impossible performance and placed it on a flash drive. I had also picked up my performance costumes from the dry cleaners.

For everyone to still be here usually meant Shelby had gotten a hold of vital information from another team. I had planned to this without anyone else to bear witness, especially Jesse. I sighed. Oh well, it's too late to change my mind now.

I grabbed the two plastic wrapped dresses and made my way to the auditorium. I knew Shelby had already noticed me when she quickly jotted something down on her notepad and signaled for me to meet her in her office. This would be a lot easier than I thought.

Walking backstage I could feel Jesse's eyes following me and along with everyone's disapproval at getting his attention. I could care less at this point what the other members thought, I was tired of the strong grip they had on Jesse and the fact that he wouldn't let himself brake it. I wasn't planning on being a part of it anymore.

"I hope you have a good reason for being late." I turned to see Shelby closing the door behind her. "I doubt any reason would be good enough for you." She crossed her arms and nodded. "I hope you know that there are hundreds of girls at his school-" "Jesse's graduating this year, so that doesn't apply as much as it would have last year. Either way I don't need the speech." I tossed the dresses on the old fashioned arm chair. "I'm transferring next year plus, it's like you said you don't need me."

She moved out of the way as I made my exit and shut the door again. Now the theater was empty. "Where were you today?" I stopped rethinking my last observation. "Not here." The voice's owner rolled his eyes at my response. "We're performing in two days. You know we don't have time for your childish games." I frowned. "Whatever, Jess, I'm sure it's nothing you can't handle."

I was about to walk away when he grabbed my arm. "What is that supposed to mean?" He growled. "Let me go." "No! I heard what you said, Es, you're leaving. Why?" "Because!" He flinched back at my sudden outburst and I used it as a chance to pull my hand free from his grasp. "I'm not you, Jesse. I keep my promises and I told you I would walk away from Jesse St. James even if it killed me." He straightened his posture and put on the same cold face he had worn the day he ended things with Rachel. "And where are you planning on going?" I sighed and reached into my pocket, pulling out the flash drive and slamming it down onto the sill of the light booth.

"I'm going somewhere where I can finally fix things."

 


	11. Pool Party

The sun was strong today which made the lightly salted pool water feel amazing against my skin. I sighed happily for once this month as I lowered the dark lensed Mark Jacobs glasses over my eyes. "Excuse me, Miss, but your guests are at the door." I smiled to James and sat up in the lounger. "Let them in and if you're not busy bring some refreshments and join us." He bowed his head slightly and headed back inside through the open French doors.

"Whoa, Es, you didn't tell us you lived on this side of town. We would have accepted the invite earlier!" exclaimed Puck earning a roll of eyes from almost every girl in the group. Rachel stepped up but before she spoke I chimed in. "It's no need. You guys can change in the pool house or in the guest rooms. James, can you show them where they are before you take your break?"

Before following I heard Brittany say "I always thought butlers were old. You don't look old… did you find the fountain of youth?" I couldn't help but laugh. "You look nice." "Oh hey, Finn, are you not going to swim?" He nodded. "I just came to ask you about yesterday." I frowned and slid of the lounger which had made its way to the shallow end of the pool. "Listen, don't worry about it. You and Rachel are just an inevitable as Jesse and Rachel. If you want to go for it, I no longer have a reason to stop you."

If he was surprised he didn't show it. Eventually he left and the others started coming out. "Looking good, Satan, I would like to apologize for yesterday." I said as Santana sat down at the edge of the pool and slid in. "No problem, Princesa, I don't know how exactly you found out but…" she smiled "I respect you for it." Well then, I was friends with everyone or at least not enemies with them. Either one was fine with me.

The day continued on like that, the guys pulling the girls into the pool if they got close or the girls lying on the lounging chairs tanning. It was fun, and I enjoyed it. Watching their cars pulling out of the drive way I felt accomplished and I couldn't wait to do something similar again….maybe something Mr. Schuester could enjoy as well.

Even if it seemed as though I was using wealth to gain their trust I had learned enough from Jesse not to. It's not like I was throwing money around anyways. My house just happened to be huge and the pool that was used for the party happened to be in its back yard. If it wasn't for my car and some of my clothes you would think I was average so, that was my reasoning. If they were going to find out I was a "rich girl" I was the one that was going to tell them.


	12. Doubts

I really didn't have a reason to go back to Carmel. Today was when Regionals took place which meant one more day of classes anyway. I had taken all my finals as well so it was only a matter of finding something to do.

Parking my car in the same spot I had used on my first day visiting McKinley I remembered that I hadn't exactly met the famous Mr. Schuester. Making this my goal I made my way into the choir room and waited for the halls to star filling with their usual flow. "I'm sorry, Miss, are you lost?"

I turned to see a crush worthy teacher whom I immediately extended my hand to. "I'm Esmeralda and I'm planning on transferring to McKinley next year. Is there any way that I could be a part of your Glee club?" He smiled warmly and was about to answer when Santana, followed by most of the members, cut in.

"Absolutely not! There are already too many girls in this club fighting for a chance to prove we are just as good as Berry." She protested. I could see that Mercedes and even Kurt nodded their heads in approval. I turned to Mr. Schue and sighed .

"I understand why that would be a problem but I'm not looking to be a part of a group that focuses on just one person's talents. Vocal Adrenaline has given me enough of that." His eyes widened at the name and with all good reason. His eyes still showed warmth though and when he cleared his throat I knew I had at least a small grain of hope.

"Why don't you audition? Since the whole family's here they can vote and see if you have the right to be a part of it." He was looking at Santana now who rolled her eyes in defeat. "Fine, but she's singing something not even Rachel can sing."

Everyone's attention was on Rachel now to which she responded by straightening her posture and holding her head high. "Now, even though I do not appreciate your doubts on my talents I haven't been able to master Gravity by Sara Bareilles. I guess I haven't had an experience that's specific to that song." I winced.

Now it was my turn to wonder if Santana knew just as much about me as I did her. Gravity wasn't a hard peace to play on a piano or difficult to dance to, which were my strengths, but could I sing it without breaking down?

Only God knew that I had the perfect emotional background to perform this song. And only I knew that I was going to deeply regret accepting Santana's challenge.


	13. Trust

Mr. Schue still looked a bit hesitant about the whole situation. Moving to the auditorium I could hear a lot of the guys whispering in protest but Santana stood her ground. I guess the respect she had for me did not count fully when it came to something she was already "fighting" for.

I sighed and sat on the cushioned piano seat and debated on taking off the Empress and Studded Bracelet Sets from Betsy Johnson that served as accessories to today's outfit. Choosing to do so I set them next to the music stand and placed my fingers where they were necessary. The room was eerily quiet giving me permission to start.

_**Something always brings me back to you.** _

_**It never takes too long.** _

_**No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.** _

_**You hold me without touch.** _

_**You keep me without chains.** _

_**I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.** _

Memories I had tried so hard to push into the very back of my mind slowly sprang forward tugging on the invisible threads that had held my heart together since meeting Jesse.

_**Set me free, leave me be.** _

_**I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.** _

_**Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.** _

_**But you're on to me and all over me.** _

_**Oh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragile when I thought that I was strong.** _

_**But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.** _

I had done everything in my power to avoid remembering but I secretly wanted to. I put myself here the same way I had put myself in the situation that was literally flooding my head with scenes I was sure would eventually disappear.

_**Set me free, leave me be.** _

_**I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.** _

_**Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.** _

_**But you're on to me and all over me.** _

Yes, Es, this is your fault. If you break down it's all on you. Just like last time.

_**I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.** _

_**But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.** _

_**The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.** _

_**You're keeping me down.** _

It'll always be your fault.

_**Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.** _

_**You're onto me, onto me, and all over…** _

Just me….

_**Something always brings me back to you.** _

_**It never takes too long.** _

"It's my fault…" I whispered when the song was finally over. This darkness and warmth that enveloped me presently…is this how I've always felt? It's almost as if I was drowning in nothing. That was it though; there was nothing except the tears that were now falling freely from my eyes.

As quietly as I could I wiped away my tears, grabbed my bracelets and ran backstage. I didn't know where I was going but as soon as I found a door I darted in and slumped down into a corner. They had obviously noticed my retreat; even if I had tried to hide my tears the stage lights made them all the more obvious. Rachel's performance was proof of that.

"What's the story behind the tears, Es?" I jumped at the sound of Artie's voice and again wiped away a stray but couldn't help keep the sob from ripping through my chest when I looked at his face and into his eyes. I had only known him for a couple of days, why did it hurt so much to see he cared?

Even if it was just the way he was, just his personality...it wasn't something I was used to. "Is it the same reason why you haven't shown me your real smile?" He lifted my chin with a gloved hand and made me really look at him.

Could I really tell him? This guy who made me feel small phantom presences of feelings I swore I would never feel again...I searched his eyes the same way he was searching mine. The answer was there. I couldn't just trust him. I could trust all of them.

McKinley High would be my home next year and the members of Glee would be my family. "I'll tell you." I whispered and he smiled pulling me into a hug that made me feel safe. When he let go I saw that everyone had gathered around the door frame with expressions of relief. "I'll tell all of you."


	14. Backstory

"I used to trust easily, you know? I was also easily manipulated. Before I attended Carmel I met this guy…he was really good at making me feel needed. He was also good at making me feel useless." I tried conjuring up an image of Him again. It was hard without shedding a tear.

"His name was Jason." I paused and smiled realizing that since then guys with names that started with that letter seemed to draw me in, Jesse being the main one. "I blame him for a lot. The way my style has changed, the way my thoughts towards relationships are, everything except loving him. That was all me."

It felt slightly uncomfortable having everyone actually listen to me but, if I stopped for more than a minute Artie would tighten his grip on my hand and Brittany would send me an almost unnoticeable glare showing me that there would eventually be more . "I never knew it was that easy to depend on someone who always found a reason to find love somewhere else. Obviously I knew he cheated but he always spend every minute he could with me even others thought he had changed. Of course he hadn't."

"Oh God, she was gorgeous. Tall, blonde, she had everything including him. After I found them together I also found out the whole thing was a lie. Can you imagine finding out that while you're falling in love the very same person that has your heart in their hands is using your practically destroyed image to make him seem suitable for another girl?"

"I used that moment as an opportunity to act spoiled, begged my parents to let me transfer and then I met Jesse." At the mention of his name Rachel cast her eyes down and Finn went into his comfort Rachel mode. "I know he's done some really unforgivable things to you guys and especially you Rachel but, that is not what he means to do." I got up then begging Artie with my eyes to let go. Reaching for Rachel's hands I looked into her eyes and smiled. "He really loves you Rachel, never forget that. We might not be in touch anymore and he might be stubborn and sometimes vain but I know he means well. One day he's going to come to his senses you just wait and see." I aimed the last part at Finn.

I had agreed to let him try renewing his relationship with Rachel but I was still shipping for my St. Berry. Plus, it really was only a matter of time before he broke her heart as well. I let go of Rachel's hands and tried my best to wipe off the eyeliner that I knew had smudged without a mirror and laughed.

"You guys, what are we doing listening to my ramblings of past heart break? Regionals are tonight and I'm not sure about you guys but I'm ready to see you kick some Vocal Adrenaline butt!" They all cheered to that until Mr. Schue cut in. "Guys, as much as we want to win it might be hard this time around." Rachel's head immediately snapped up. "Why?"

"Because I'm one of the judges." We all turned to see a middle aged blonde with a smug look on her face leaning on the doorway. The infamous Sue Sylvester was even more hell bent on destroying Glee Club even more than their competition, this I was very aware of.


	15. Bohemian Rhapsody

Finally we were here. I admit the Glee Club members were a bit disheartened at hearing what Sue's position was in all of this but while Rachel got a pep talk from Finn in the choir room (and, to my dismay, rekindled their relationship) Mr. Schue was able to convince the others that nothing could bring them down.

With that hurdle out of the way we watched as the audience began to trickle in and the other show choir groups prepared to go on. "Just a few more minutes and we're up." I heard someone whisper. It amazed me how fast time would fly by when you wished it wouldn't.

"Someone totally tipped them off on who the judges would be." Puck growled. I snapped out of a daze I didn't even know I was in and noticed that not only was Aural Intensity almost done with their mash-up of You Raise Me Up and Magic but everyone was already getting in their predetermined places to get on stage.

In a way I knew that it wasn't necessary for me to watch their performance because I knew that their Journey mash-up would be amazing but I was inclined to see how seriously Finn and Rachel had started out again relationship wise. When I saw the way they looked at each other during Faithfully I began to worry and after the choreography of Any Way You Want It/Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin I was glad Jesse never watched the competition on actual performance days.

I could've remained in the audience if I wanted to instead of walking in on Quinn telling her mother that her water had broken but my mind has a way of making me do things for certain reasons that I eventually figure out. When Rachel stayed behind it clicked. "Planning on saying good bye?" I asked.

Her face showed no specific emotion but right there in her eyes I knew that even if she didn't speak to him she would find a way to do so. "I just want to see…" She whispered. To say I didn't want to see would be a lie.

Whether she believed it or not Jesse's performances showed exactly how he was feeling and when the song started anger, sadness, and slight regret were all I could see.

_Is this the real life?_

_Is this just fantasy?_

_Caught in a landslide,_

_No escape from reality_

_Open your eyes,_

_Look up to the skies and see,_

_**I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,** _

_Because I'm easy come, easy go,_

_Little high, little low,_

_**Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter** _ _to me,_ _**to me** _

_**Mama, just killed a man,** _

_**Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead** _

_**Mama... life had just begun,** _

_**But now I've gone and thrown it all away** _

He was thinking of her...

_**Mama oooh,** _

_**Didn't mean to make you cry,** _

_**If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,** _

_**Carry on; carry on as if nothing really matters** _

He was singing for her…

_**Too late, my time has come** _

_**Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time** _

_**Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,** _

_**Got to leave you all behind and face the truth** _

_**Mama oooh,** _ _(Away the wind blows)_

_**I don't want to die,** _

_**I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all** _

_**I see a little silhouetto of a man,** _

_**Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Will you do theFandango?** _

_Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me!_

_Galileo,_ _**Galileo** _

_Galileo_ _**, Galileo** _

_Galileo, Figaro - magnifico_

_**I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me** _

Of course he would pick this point of the song to sound sarcastically sorry for himself, the smirk on his face showing he knew we were watching.

_He's just a poor boy from a poor family,_

_Spare him his life from this monstrosity!_

_**Easy come, easy go, will you let me go** _

_Bismilah! No, we will not let you go_

_(Let him go!) Bismilah! We will not let you go_

_(Let him go!) Bismilah! We will not let you go_

_(Let me go) Will not let you go_

_(Let me go) Will not let you go_

_(Let me go) Ah_

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no_

_**Oh mama mia, mama mia** _ _, mama mia, let me go_

_Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me!_

_**So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?** _

I expected this from him. I honestly knew he would use this to show Rachel he really didn't care anymore. Even if it was part of the choreography I knew the girls he was holding and helping lift up wanted to be there with him.

_**So you think you can love me and leave me to die?** _

_**Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,** _

_**Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here!** _

This might of been for her, but it was all just a show.

_**Nothing really matters, Anyone can see,** _

_**Nothing really matters,** _

_**Nothing really matters to me...** _

_**Anyway the wind blows...** _

Staring straight at the spot where Rachel had stood only seconds before his jaw clenched. When he said "anyone" in the last verse Rachel heard what he wanted her to hear. I looked at him disappointment written, painted, and plastered on my face. Even if he couldn't see that he could see me following after Rachel. He had made his choice, Rachel had made hers, and I had made mine.

 


	16. The Perfect Song

We did not win against Vocal Adrenaline's Bohemian Rhapsody last year even with Sue's vote. The Glee Club, however, did get another year to prove themselves worthy of a budget and won regionals with a few original songs…and a bit of unnecessary drama.

I really couldn't believe almost a month had passed since the end of summer and my official transfer from Carmel to McKinley High. I was finally close to being whole again. I was also the first member of the Glee club that had yet to be slushied.

With those thoughts in mind I closed my locker and managed to run into Sam, the clubs newest recruit. "My fault." We said together causing us to burst into a small fit of laughter.

"What's up, Sam?" I asked. "Not much just wanted to give you an update. The principal wants us to perform at prom this year." I could feel the smile on my face turning full out Cheshire as I practically jumped into Sam's arms for a hug.

"Gosh, if I didn't know you liked Artie I'd be expecting a kiss about now." I laughed. "Yeah well, maybe next time Rachel throws a party you'll get your chance." We both laughed again and ended up walking to our shared first period together.

After the bell rang I sprinted to the choir room hoping that it'd at least be easy to find a suitable piano piece for the Glee Club's performance. I was also hoping I'd catch a seek peak at Rachel's choice which would probably end up reflecting her summer romance with Finn. Lucky for me, that's exactly what I got.

Rachel was already surrounded by small piles of looked through song books when I walked in. "I see I'm not the only one taking the prom performance seriously." she said looking up. I smiled. "Knowing you, you've already got yours down." She sighed and held up two of the slightly less used books.

"It's between Adele and Christina Perri. I'm planning on taking these with me and practicing in the auditorium." "Aren't the theatre kinds painting set pieces?" She shrugged. "They can tell me how great I am from a scale of 1-5. 1 being amazing and 5 being simply outstanding." I laughed.

Rachel Berry would always be Rachel Berry. "Well, while you do that I'm going to take over and search for my piece." She quickly got up, dusted herself off and gave a nod good bye in my direction before heading to the auditorium.

Turning towards the piles of books she had left I realized this task would be a lot more time consuming than catching that sneak peak of Rachel. I decided to see if sorting the books by category would help but that would mean I'd have to know what I had in mind. If I knew what the others were singing that would help a ton.

After two class periods I closed my eyes and exhaled sharply in frustration. I honestly don't know what made think I could find a decent song to use for prom. I knew what Rachel would end up singing.

Yeah, she said she was still looking for the right one but Christina Perri's Jar of Hearts fit her situation with Finn. Even after giving him another chance during the summer he had blown it again just like I thought he would. I flipped the song book closed and tossed it on the floor on top of the previously searched ones and reached for another when Artie rolled in, a pained expression on his face.

"It's over." I raised an eyebrow. "I shouldn't have tried convincing Brit that Santana was bad news. I got angry and called her something I didn't mean... It's officially over." I got up and walked over to him kneeling so I could see his cast down face. "Hey, look at me; it's not the end of the world. Why don't you apologize and ask her to prom as planned? You could even ask one of the boys to help you serenade her?"

I could see him actually thinking about it and returned his smile when he looked up. "I know just the one." I laughed. "You go get her, Tiger!" After he left I went back to searching. If only I knew which song was perfect for me.


	17. Still a St. James

One in a half hours and over fifty song books later I still had nothing. I walked out of the choir room in dismay and pushed through the flow of people heading to their classes. Stopping at my locker would mean being late to class but seeing as I had already skipped two periods it wouldn't mean much.

"Yes, that's what I'm saying. I saw that Artie kid going into the Home Ec class room with Puck following behind; they don't even have that class. Plus, who needs a guitar to cook?" I froze where I was standing. So Artie was going to serenade her after all…

"It's your fault for taking on the roll of his best friend. How is he supposed to know your feelings for him are much more than just friendship, Es?" My eyes widened at the familiar sound of an old friends voice. Turning around I still couldn't believe he was actually within reach.

"Jesse?" He smirked and stretched out his arms as if pointing out he was the only other guy in the hall. "The one and only, you seem surprised to see me." "Well, yeah, last time I saw you it was made clear that being a part of my life or Rachel's wasn't exactly something you wanted." I snapped.

His arms lowered and he exhaled sadly only to look back up with a broken version of his show face. "You of all people should know…" "It was all a show, you're right, I should know and I do but Rachel didn't." He winced and ran his hands through his hair. "She knows I'm back." I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"And I apologized." My eyes narrowed. "Why are you here?" He frowned. "Okay, I deserved that and other things but while I was at UCLA I realized that out of all of the things that really motivated me to be a complete jerk the way Vocal Adrenaline was run was the worst. They wanted Jesse St. James not me. Rachel and you weren't like that and I thought you would always put up with that side of me….until you left for good."

"I flunked out and they revoked my scholarship. The reason I gave Rachel isn't exactly 100% true but even without Carmel or Shelby as an influence I'm still a St. James even if I try to change I'm still going to carry that name in my blood, Es. Nothing can change that." A broken sigh escaped it's confinement from my body and before I know it my hand was raised and Jesse was ready to receive the full impact of the oncoming slap.

It never came. Instead I fell into his arms with tears slowly falling from my face as he held me the way he always had when we made up. Something had changed in him, it was easy to see, if only he would bring himself to stay this way.


	18. What About Finn?

The cafeteria was loud with the multiple conversations of the many students now occupying their time with satisfying their nonexistent appetites. "What are you guys planning for tonight?" I asked shoveling a small forkful of what Puck called rabbit food. Sam, Rachel and Mercedes perked up. "I take it you guys are going together?"

Rachel nodded. "We're calling it Prom on a Budget. Mercedes and I are going to buy $5 dresses at the thrift store and we lent some money to Sam for the limo." I smiled when Sam's cheeks reddened in slight embarrassment. "How about I lend you some dresses and some killer heels along with a suit for Sam?" This earned some surprises glances from the only people that ever actually came to lunch.

"Not to ruin your idea of a nice gesture but I doubt you'd have a dress in my size…" "Mercedes, even if you were 'fat' you'd still be gorgeous and I'm sure my mother will have something that will suit you just fine. After all, she caters to the needs of real women not walking pencils." I could tell she was still hesitant and Sam and Rachel weren't what I would call excited.

"Look, you guys can come over right after school that way if you don't end up loving what I have to offer you'll have time to buy your $5 dresses. If all ends well we can just stay and eat there to save some more green. Please, it's been forever since I've had a reason to pull out some of my fancier labels." Insert puppy dog eyes here and a look of giving in, first from Sam then the girls.

"Fine, but to make things fair we're paying for the dry cleaning." I agreed to Sam's request and we continued talking until it was time to clear out. Once Mercedes and Sam heady their way Rachel pulled me aside. "Es, I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume you've talked to Jesse." I nodded.

She seemed relieved at that and in a strange way so did I. "I asked him to come with us tonight, as friends." Ouch. Oh well, progress was progress. "That's wonderful…why does it look like you don't think it is?" She looked at me in silence until finally, "What about Finn?" Great, so much for progress was progress. I sighed.

"Finn made his decision in not being honest, in judging you, and in hiding his relationship with Quin. If he didn't respect you when you gave him what you could then he should at least respect the girl he chose to be with. I think you should tell him about Jesse, even if it's just to show him that you're better than him." The corners of her mouth turned up in a barely there smile but her eyes were sparkling with a new confidence.

"Then that's what I'll do. Thank you." I smiled at her retreating figure weaving through the clumps of people that were in between conversations. This wasn't exactly the best start Jesse could've gotten, being pushed into the friend zone and all but things happened. Things were already happening.

 


	19. Only Hope

Pushing aside garment bag after garment bag in my mother's storage closet I finally pulled out the two dresses I thought would look stunning on Rachel and Mercedes. "You could've told us that you already knew what you were going to let us wear." Mercedes said laying the bag neatly on the bed.

"It's not like I'm giving you the cheapest thing we own!" I exclaimed making both of them smile. "Okay, okay, so when do we get to actually see what we might end up wearing?" "Depends on what you're waiting for, all you have to do is unzip the bag you know?" She rolled her eyes and made to pull down the zipper when we heard a surprised gasp from Rachel's direction.

She was holding the dress at arm's length by the hanger letting the skirt barely touch the floor and soaking in the embroidered pattern that decorated the bodice. "This is stunning." She slowly pressed the dress against her and turned to the full length mirror. "Whoa. If it looks that good on the hanger next to you it's going to be killer on." stated Mercedes before finally unzipping her garment bag and having the same reaction.

"I feel like this is too much. I can't wear this, Es." "Of course you can, Rachel, what's stopping you?" She looked down and poked her shoes out from under the caramel colored tulle. "What shoes will I wear?" I laughed and went back into the closet coming out with two boxes knowing Mercedes would probably wonder the same thing later.

"First things first, where did Mercedes go?" "Sorry, I couldn't help seeing if it really fit…" I turned to see her standing in the doorway of the bathroom already in the knee length piece. "Perfect. I thought blue would be a good color for you." I handed her one of the shoe boxes I was holding. "Wear these, they'll add to the sparkle effect." I said speaking of the small beads of glitter that peppered the fabric all the way from the top of the strapless sweet heart neck line to the end of the skirt.

"Yours don't sparkle as much but the lace goes well with the detail." Rachel's eyes widened at the contents of the box and when I looked over to the other diva hers were about to fall out of their sockets. "C'mon, guys, you both have a shot of being Cinderella tonight now finish getting ready so I can get dressed while you decide on how you'll wear your hair and makeup."

* * *

I was glad we had decided on after school because by the time the three of us were ready we only had an hour left. "I'm glad your movie library is as big as your real one because in all honesty Sam and I would have died of boredom." Joked Jesse as we made our way to the dining room. "All you had to do was convince him that wearing an Armani suit wouldn't be a big deal. These two acted like wearing Oscar de la Renta heels was going to kill them."

"You realize I don't get to wear satin peep toe pumps embellished with a Swarovski Elements crystal butterfly on an everyday basis right?" I rolled my eyes and gave Mercedes a light pat on the back. "There's always a first for everything."

"Speaking of firsts, don't you guys think it's awesome that we get to go to prom without having to be seniors?" We all laughed at Sam's excitement before sitting down and serving whatever it was that James had made onto our plates. "I think it's great that we'll get to perform. It's good to practice before heading to New York." Jesse looked at Rachel in wonder. "So you guys made it to the Big Apple?" "Don't sound so surprised, Jess, after you graduated Vocal Adrenaline hasn't been able to find a star worthy of their worship." He frowned. "If you had stayed maybe they would have. Your range of talent is astonishing." "I agree with Jesse, when you performed your solo piece last year you out shined me which is very difficult to do." I smiled at Rachel's weird way of complementing herself at the same time.

"Since we're on that topic, did you ever find a song?" I nodded. "I know I want to give couples a chance to slow dance more than once but as for the song choice, I've got nothing." "Maybe you should sing something for Artie." Sam suggested with a wink. I blushed. "What can she sing but a Taylor Swift song?"

"As good as that sounds, Jess, I'd rather not." "Tell me, Es, how do you feel about him exactly?" I gave my attention to Mercedes who seemed really interested in hearing my answer. "I'm not exactly sure, he just gives me butterflies." Jesse cleared his throat making everyone look at him. "He's your only hope for true happiness is what it seems like." I smiled. "Who's your only hope, Jess?" He looked longingly at Rachel who seemed to have a new interest in the baby spinach on her plate. "I'll tell you when she does."

 


	20. New Start

We had our fun for a while even after the tension went up when Finn saw Jesse with his arm around Rachel's waist. Mercedes was cool enough to help them simmer down and then the dancing began. I was surprised at everyone's ability to hate Glee Club yet enjoy the talent it provided.

"Rachel's going up now, want to keep me company?" I smiled and nodded moving closer to where Jesse was standing. "You know, despite all of the drama that's bound to come with you being here, I'm glad you're back." He smiled softly unlike his usual self. "I missed you too."

The silence that followed those words was neither awkward, nor uncomfortable, it was a silence that felt right. The silenced continued as Rachel made her way up the two or three steps leading up to the stage, holding the soft colored tulle in her fists to prevent her from tripping, and took her place behind the microphone. She sent a barely noticeable apologetic glance in our direction and then focused on Quin and Finn when the music started.

_No, I can't take one more step towards you 'cause all that's waiting is regret._

_And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?_

_You lost the love I loved the most._

_I learned to live half alive and now you want me one more time._

I was expecting Jesse to tense up immediately at the obvious pain in Rachel's eyes but he seemed calm and strangely understanding at the very telling looks Finn was clearly receiving. "She's telling him it's truly over." He said in a tone that sounded proud….

_And who do you think you are runnin' 'round leaving scars,_

_Collecting your jar of hearts and tearing love apart?_

_You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul._

_So don't come back for me. Who do you think you are?_

_I hear you're asking all around if I am anywhere to be found._

_But I have grown too strong to ever fall back in your arms._

_I've learned to live half alive and now you want me one more time._

_And who do you think you are runnin' 'round leaving scars,_

_Collecting your jar of hearts and tearing love apart?_

_You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul._

_So don't come back for me. Who do you think you are?_

"This makes it hard to tell which is worse, her singing this song or the song you filmed her singing." "They're both about heart break, Jess, except maybe Impossible just showed how much she believed in you. You have another chance after all."

_It took so long just to feel alright._

_Remember how to put back the light in my eyes._

_I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed 'cause you broke all your promises._

_And now you're back you don't get to get me back_

I took the time to notice how Quin was now holding Finn possessively and how Finn refused to look at Rachel. I also took the time to notice that Rachel was on the verge of tears and Jesse's eyes were glistening as well. It looked like I was right about the drama.

_And who do you think you are runnin' 'round leaving scars,_

_Collecting your jar of hearts and tearing love apart?_

_You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul._

_Don't come back for me, don't come back at all_

_And who do you think you are runnin' 'round leaving scars,_

_Collecting your jar of hearts and tearing love apart?_

_You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul._

_Don't come back for me don't come back at all._

_Who do you think you are?_

_Who do you think you are?_

_Who do you think you are?_

With the song over Rachel bowed her head slightly and Jesse slowly made his way to the stage. They met on the steps where he opened his arms to her. In that instant she fell, nobody could see it but she was telling Jesse yes, he hadn't asked for anything (I think) but she was allowing herself to let him in again. She was giving them a new start.

 


	21. Just Lemonade

With Rachel finally enjoying herself I was sure nothing could go wrong tonight. Kurt had even brought Blaine along and he had been kind enough to help with the Glee Club performance. Those were my thoughts before hearing a couple of jocks laughing about their choice of prom queen. Oh, God... I spoke too soon.

I quickly scouted the crowd for someone who would waste no time in delivering consequences and ran towards her. "Coach Sylvester, I have a feeling that at this very moment people are voting for Porcelain to be prom queen." "That's preposterous!" she snapped crossing her arms. I rolled my eyes. "Yes I know if you don't believe me then check the ballots."

Her eyes narrowed. "Who's going to watch my punch?" Was this lady for real? "I won't take my eyes of it, cross my heart and hope to die!" She hesitated briefly before heading in the direction of the principal. At least that would be taken care of.

I was about to serve myself some punch when another hand reached for the ladle. "Hey, Artie." I smiled. "Hey, Es, is Sylvester around?" I nodded. "I'm her replacement for now." He laughed nervously and ran his hand through his hair. "Did you need something?" He sighed and pulled out a bottle from inside his jacket. "Trying to prove myself..."

My eyes widened as I grabbed the bottle and examined its contents. "Britney said no." I looked at him in shock. "So you were going to spike the punch?" He winced and wheeled back an inch from the table. "It sounds bad when you say it."

The way he had retreated made it hard to stay even remotely mad at him. "Artie, I understand but did you think it through? I mean if what happened at Rachel's party is true then all you would have accomplished is making her start stripping down." He smiled.

"Plus, you do not want to see Jesse drunk." He looked up. "What about you?" "I'd rather not..." I said handing him back the bottle. "What kind of drunk are you, Es?" "An honest one." His head tilted slightly to the side the way a dogs does when it's confused. "I thought you were already honest." I laughed. "Everyone has their secrets." He nodded. "Will I ever get to hear you admit to at least one?" I glanced over to the stage at the glossy black piano and sighed. "Eventually you will."

"Es?" My attention snapped back to Artie. "Yeah?" "You know it's just lemonade right?" I laughed. "Yes, I know it's just lemonade."


	22. No More Mr. Nice Guy

When Sue came back I was expecting some form of good news but instead I got a look that said "If something's wrong with my punch I'll kill you." She even went as far as ladling herself a glass and sipping at it slowly. I just stood there waiting until she decided to say something.

"You were right." I knew that already. "But we can't anything other than give him a heads up." I sighed. "It's better than him being caught off guard. Thank you."

Her eyes widened slightly at my words but she quickly went about her business as if nothing. I took this as my cue to leave and started looking for Kurt. When I spotted him through the crowd he was already getting the news from Sue's right hand gal, Becky.

He looked truly upset yet, when Blaine took the stage the hurt faded from his features. It always amazed me how Blaine's singing had the power to ease tension in any situation. I guess it all went down to the fact that he always enjoyed himself while performing allowing everyone else to enjoy themselves too.

"Well this is my school so it's my business." "Well, this isn't your girlfriend so beat it, MJ." Those voices could really only belong to two people in this entire building, why hadn't I waited till Prom was over to say things were going great?

Turning on the heel of my light pink Enzo Angiolini Torrey platform peep toes I found myself in the middle of what would've turned into a Finn shoving Jesse marathon. They both stopped abruptly when I stepped in between them.

I inhaled deeply and exhaled loudly turning towards Jesse first with an expression he knew very well "Jesse, do you mind, oh I don't know, not getting into it with the ex-boyfriend at this time or is that too much to ask?" "He started it." "Yeah, well I'm ending it!" I snapped.

I saw Rachel flinch from the corner of my eye at the sudden coldness in my voice. "You two run along now. It'd be a shame if you missed the end of Blaine's performance." I smiled as Jesse nodded and led Rachel away.

Turning again to face Finn this time the smile was still there. I grabbed hold of his tie and pulled him down the three inches it took to reach my height. "Listen, Hudson, I don't care what you feel for Rachel but I clearly remember telling you that if you ever got in the way of Rachel's happiness I would make your life Hell. I also remember that you refused to take her back."

Loosening my grip he strengthened himself out and I flattened his tie smoothing out any noticeable wrinkles I had made. "Quin, I think that you might want to sit out the next slow song and really talk to your boyfriend about what just happened because in all honesty I can see you've been hurt most." I returned her glare with an innocent smile and then turned one last time to make my way to the stage steps.

With Blaine ending his song on his knees like the rock star he was it was my turn now and then after that the announcement of Prom King and Queen one of which would end up disappointing four Glee Club members, one more than the others. I stopped Blaine on his way down. "Blaine, I think you should talk to Kurt." He wasted no time in asking questions and was with him before I was face to face with my reflection in the darkness that was the grand piano.


	23. Bored & Alone

I watched as the knowledge of another chance to be close to their date washed over everyone. I smiled as I saw Rachel's head leaning in the crook of Jesse's neck, Blain and Kurt back in the gym looking at each other like nothing else existed, Mercedes blushing at something Sam had said and Brittany agreeing to dance with Artie.

I knew Jesse thought Artie was my only hope just like I knew Rachel was his and vice versa but he was wrong. I liked Artie, yes, but he only played a part in my happiness. Glee Club was my happiness wrapped in individual packages that were its members. I decided this song was for them leading my hands to begin working the keys.

_There's a song that's inside of my soul._

_It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again._

_I'm awake in the infinite cold_

_But you sing to me over and over and over again._

_So I lay my head back down and I lift my hands_

_And pray to be only yours._

_I pray to be only yours._

_I know now you're my only hope._

_Sing to me the song of the stars,_

_Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again._

_When it feels like my dreams are so far_

_Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again._

_So I lay my head back down and I lift my hands_

_And pray to be only yours._

_I pray to be only yours._

_I know now you're my only hope_

_I give you my destiny._

_I'm giving you all of me._

_I want your symphony singing in all that I am._

_At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back._

_So I lay my head back down and I lift my hands_

_And pray to be only yours._

_I pray to be only yours._

_I pray to be only yours._

_I know now you're my only hope._

_Mmmmmmm oooooooh_

I stepped off the stage after a few seconds passing by Principal Figgins and made my way back to the punch bowl. I was soon joined by Jesse who was surprisingly unaccompanied by Rachel. "She's in the restroom…" I nodded.

"Es, can you-" I raised my hand signaling him to stop. "Your Prom King is….David Karofsky." Scattered applause, Santana rubbing it in Quin's face and Rachel appearing once again at Jesse's side. "And your Queen is….Kurt Hummel…" Silence blanketed the crowd as Kurt clenched his jaw and walked to the stage with his head held high. "Eat your heart out, Kate Middleton." He smiled as the crown was placed on his head and immediately Rachel began clapping urging others to join in.

"Leave it to Kurt to go unfazed by all of this." I said leaving Jesse and Rachel to their alone time. I was happy everything had ended up all right but I was becoming bored. Coming without a true date really got to you at the end of the night.

 


	24. Different

It surprised me how tired one gets after staying up past their regular bedtime. I guess once your body's used to shutting down before midnight staying up after that is suicide. At least that's what it felt like right now leaning back in one of the choir room chairs half asleep.

"You'll hurt yourself if you keep doing that." I jumped out of my sluggish state of mind and saw Jesse's signature smirk on his face. "What are you doing here?" He shrugged and sat down in the empty seat next to me pulling out a small box from his pocket.

"You planning on telling me something I don't know?" I asked he opened the box and placed it on my lap. "What do you think?" Inside the box was a thin silver band with an oxidized rose in the center, I looked at Jesse in wonder. "You're really giving Rachel a promise ring?" He took back the box and just stared at it.

"I want to apologize to her for putting pressure on her when we were together…and other things." I smiled at him. "You're doing well so far but I do have to set some rules for you." He snapped the case shut and placed it back in his jacket pocket. "And what would that be?"

"I will not let you use Glee Club as a way to get on her good side, okay?" I could see him letting the thought marinate a while before finally agreeing and before being interrupted by Finn and Quin. "All I'm saying is that you're making a big deal out of nothing!" I sucked in a breath at his response to Quin's feelings of jealousy towards Rachel.

"As much as we would love to see how this all plays out but we gotta run." I dragged Jesse out of the room before he could protest and ran into Mr. Schue. "You do not want to go in there." I said as a warning, he looked questioningly at Jesse who mouthed Finn's name and nodded in agreement. "I'm just glad I caught you, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping Kurt with Sue."

"What's wrong with Coach Sylvester?" He sighed and a look of doubt washed over his face. "Kurt wants to help her plan her sisters funeral…I was going to ask Finn but he seems busy with Quin at the moment." I nodded understanding the situation. "Of course, for her anything, I know she has her moments but Jean was her soft spot. I'd be heartbroken in her place."

Both men nodded in agreement and we went our separate ways. I was about to go ask the school secretary if she could tell me what class Kurt was in at the moment when I saw Artie coming around the corner. Raising my arm to wave at him I gasped when I was pulled into someone's body.

"Hey there, Princess, what do you say you join me and the boys for the game next week?" I winced at the way he was whispering into my ear. "You'd like that wouldn't you, Brett?" came another voice from behind me. I rolled my eyes and continue in vain to push Brett away.

In a way this situation made me glad I wasn't a Cheerio because they all did this willingly where as I had the choice of saying no….or trying to anyway. "Really, Guys, why is it that you never pester any of the other girls in Glee Club other than to ruin their clothes with slushie stains?" Brett took the chance to brush back a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Princess, all we want is to see you smiling in the stands yelling out our names. Unlike the others that are part of that loser fest you're different." Different…In many ways I was just like Rachel, Quin, Mercedes, Santana, Tina and even Brittany so "How am I different?" Brett smirked at this.

"Princess, unlike those girls, you're a mystery to every in this school and there isn't one person who doesn't want to find out who you are on the inside." I clenched my jaw at those words and I was no longer in control of what happened next. The sight of Brett writhing in pain on the floor, both hands on his groin made me smile.

"Now to find Kurt."


	25. Funeral

It had taken a while to decide exactly how we were going to do things for the funeral but with Kurt it was easy to decide on bringing Jean's favorite movie to life. I thought it was a cute idea. Maybe Willy Wonka would bring some joy to this sad day.

Okay, so there really isn't much joy you can add to a funeral but I could tell Sue really appreciated what we had done for her and her sister. When it was time for the eulogy, however, it came to be too much. In time though Mr. Schuester stood by her side and helped.

"I miss my sister. Every night at 10 or so, she used to call me on the phone, and when I asked her why, she'd tell me that her body told her… she wanted to hear my voice. I miss my sister, the smell of her shampoo, the way she could always convince me to read her another book.

"When you love someone like I loved her, they're a part of you; it's like you're attached by this invisible tether and no matter how far away you are, you can always feel them. And now every time I reach for that tether I know there's no one on the other end and I feel like I'm falling into nothingness.

"Then I remember Jean. I remember a life led with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets and I'm inspired to get up out of bed and go on. I miss my sister so much it feels like piece of me has been ripped off. Just one more time I want to hold her. Ten more seconds— is that too much to ask? For ten more seconds to hold her?

"But I can't and I won't and the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness is that Jean would kill me if I did. So for now I'm just going to miss her. I love you Jean, rest in peace."

We were all in tears by the end of it but were able to perform "Pure Imagination" before it really took a toll on us. When it was over we all said our good byes and even gave Sue some awkward hugs that she needed nonetheless. I was expecting the sadness to at least be lessened a bit but then Quin came running from Finn's car tears streaming from her eyes.

Seeing that she was pretty much heading in Rachel's direction I sensed some sort of cat fight would ensue so I did what I could and pulled her back into the funeral home. "It's her fault, it's all her fault!" she yelled. "Quin, calm down! What happened?" "He broke up with me because of Rachel. It's always been because of her!" She sobbed.

I can't say I didn't see that coming and I honestly felt bad for her but I also had the urge to slap her and for the second time that week I didn't bother resisting the urge. She stopped crying then and just looked at me in shock. "As much as I love blaming my problems on other people I can't agree with you on this one, Quin."

"And why is that?" "Because it isn't Rachel's fault it's yours for believing that things were over between her and Finn. This isn't the first time he's done this too you, so before you go and blame Rachel who's also been a victim of Finn's lack of good relationship skills you should really think about the choices you've made and the people you've hurt."

* * *

The next day my head was throbbing and the bright lights in the nurse's office really only made things worse. Puck suggested trying the schools theatre and I took him up on that offer not really expecting anyone to be there. Apparently that wasn't the case.

"Rachel, I need to talk to you." Said a rather nervous Jesse, I sat down in the darkness wondering how this was going to play out and also wished I had some sort of snack…like popcorn. "I know there's a very slim chance for us to ever get back together but I wanted you to know that I regret every single wrong I did to you and…" He took out the box and slowly opened it for effect.

Rachel's hand came to her mouth stifling the gasp that she emitted. "It's not what you think. It's a promise ring. If you give me the chance I promise to never hurt you again. I came back for you Rachel and I don't know what I'd do if you said no."

I had to say this was far better than any chick flick I've had the privilege of seeing. For one, these were not actors and the light that shown in both their eyes, there was no way of faking that. The kiss they shared afterwards showed me I was right and well, I decided I'd give them their privacy.

 


	26. So Confused

I sighed out of boredom for the sixth time before receiving an understanding glance from Jesse. "Sorry for dragging you along, you know how I am with shopping." "You're better than I am." I mumbled which was true since most of the clothes and such I owned were due to my mother's I'd never bothered setting foot inside the mall.

"I could be bored in my own house, in my own room, in a much more comfortable chair right now!" I complained he simply rolled his eyes and handed me a twenty dollar bill. "Go complain to smoothie vendor." We exchanged glares before I snatched the money from his hand and left the store.

Now, it wasn't that I resented being here with Jesse and Rachel it was just that I felt bad intruding on any alone time they could possibly have. I knew Jesse settled with being a part of our Glee Club meetings just to be with her but they really needed to go on a one on one date  _without_  me. After their on stage kiss one would assume they'd be able to do that.

I shook the thoughts from my head as I approached the employee behind the bubblegum colored laminate countertop. "Two Strawberry Bananas and a Very Berry Blast, please, oh and a salted soft pretzel." I said handing them the twenty.

After a few minutes I was heading back to my starting point when I spotted a familiar face heading in my direction. "Artie?" Shocked blue eyes met mine before a nervous smile formed on his lips. "Hey, Es….you're not planning on drinking all of those smoothies by yourself are you?" I laughed.

"If I did I'd owe the two people behind you money." He turned briefly to see Rachel wave at him with the hand that wasn't laced with Jesse's. "That's cool…well, I, umm, I should go." And like that he was gone leaving me to look at the spot where he was only moments before.

"Was that, Artie?" I nodded in Jesse's general direction still confused as to what had happened. "Don't you find his behavior a bit odd, Es? I feel as though this is the third time he's made an excuse to leave after coming into contact with you." I looked at Rachel and handed her one of the cups when it hit me that she was right.

_**Flashback** _

_After getting my notebooks and a new pen from my locker I tried to hurry to first period when I ran into Artie. He looked worried and somewhat troubled by something. "Are you okay?" I asked his expression changed and I could no longer tell what he was feeling. "Yeah, I just…All's good I'll talk to you later, okay?" He was gone before I could reply but I walked on class figuring that maybe he was just in a hurry._

_It was hard to think about my morning run in with an out of character Artie when teacher's kept on asking me to answer questions we hadn't gone over so I pushed it to the back of my head. After taking care of all of my assignments I headed to the choir room where Sam and Mercedes were having a 'creative discussion'._

" _What up, my peeps?" I asked making both of them acknowledge my presence. "Sam, won't give me back my phone!" exclaimed Mercedes as Sam walked over to where I was standing and held out the phone. "Tell me you don't think that she looks great in that outfit." I looked at Sam and quickly grabbed the phone from his hands tossing it to Mercedes._

" _Now you're gonna get it." He said with a mischievous smile on his face. I squealed when he threw me over his shoulder and began chasing Mercedes around the room as well. "Sam, put me down!" I yelled and when he did we all ended up laughing about it._

_When we calmed down I noticed Artie again. "Ready for Mr. Schue's lesson today, Art?" I asked. "I just remembered I forgot my notes in science class." When he had retreated I saw Mercedes and Sam share a questioning look._

"Come to think of it….I feel as though he's avoiding me." Rachel nodded taking a sip of her smoothie before asking why. I shrugged and silently wondered why too as we headed, drinks in hand, to another one of her preferred clothing stores. Whatever the reason, it had left me so confused.


	27. First Kiss

No umbrellas and unexpected rain. Those were the reasons that had caused Artie to be alone with me in my house. I admit that I had been wishing for a chance to talk to him but this was a tad extreme.

Just hours ago I had been walking to the school parking lot ready to go home when Rachel caught me by surprise and dragged me to the passenger side of my own car. Coming from her this was way out of character especially since she wouldn't tell me what was going on. The rest of the ride was spent in silence with me fuming and Rachel trying to hide a mischievous smile.

I guess the motive behind her actions first hit me when I saw that Jesse was waiting for us with Artie in tow a couple blocks from my house. When I was kicked out of the car he took my place and they drove off. I turned to Artie only to see that he was as dumbfounded as I was. There wasn't really much else to do but head to my place and then the rain started. And here we were now; dry and still no words had been exchanged.

I sighed in satisfaction as the heater turned on and the microwave alerted me to the heated hot chocolate waiting to warm me from the inside out. Getting caught up in the rain wasn't as fun as movies made it seem...at least not fun when it's pouring and the guy you're crushing on hasn't tried to have an actual conversation with you. "Thanks for the clothes." I jumped at the unexpected sound of Artie's voice filling the room.

"It's nothing really. Especially since my mother always brings some of her work home." I didn't really understand why the atmosphere had suddenly become awkward or why I had a sudden wave of courage wash over me. "Artie, is everything alright between us?" He frowned. "What makes you ask?" I shrugged and let myself sink into the sofa ignoring the annoying chirping the microwave continued to make.

"You've just been acting differently lately...avoiding me. And we didn't talk at all on the way over here. Is everything alright?" He frowned. "I'm not…I mean I'm fine, I'm just so confused. I saw you with the jocks that day...how they looked at you. I also heard them asking you to cheer for them...and be with them." I hadn't noticed that he had come closer until he grabbed my hand, gently lifted it to his face and allowed his lips to brush the back of it just like on the day we met.

"I felt odd, slightly angry at myself for not doing anything about it." I looked into his eyes in amazement. "Es, that song you sang at prom, the people you were thinking about...they're your secret right?" I smiled and nodded afraid of the words that would come out of my mouth. "Tell me who they are, please? You've been a great friend to me...and recently I've begun to notice that...maybe I wouldn't really like the idea of you losing your light again or of losing you at all."

I admit that this would usually be the part when both of us inch closer and eventually close the distance with a kiss. I cried. Artie's eyes widened with worry and he pulled me into his lap. "I'm sorry. I said too much. Just forget about it, OK? Like it never happened." I looked at him horror struck. "Never!" "But you're crying..." I smiled and pulled him closer to the point where our foreheads were touching. "I'm crying because I never thought I could feel the things I do when I'm with you. Now, stop talking and kiss me." He smiled and did just that officially making me forget the hot chocolate, the pouring rain and the fact that tomorrow I would have to thank St. Berry for making this possible.

 


	28. Boyfriend

"Somebody got down and dirty last night." Santana said joining us while we waited for the boys to get their lunch. "What are you talking about, Santana." asked Rachel making her roll her eyes.

"Please, Es, has been smiling nonstop all day and she's glowing. Something happened last night and she's either going to tell me now or when the boys show up." She turned to me and waited. "I hate to brake it too you but sex isn't the only thing that makes people happy." I said.

Her eyes narrowed but she dropped it and when the boys got back we ate and talked about our usual topics. It wasn't until later that she brought it up again. "So, it definitely has something to do with Bluetooth because that's the only other thing, besides sex, that could possibly have you like this." I rolled my eyes at her nickname for Artie and entered the choir room without a word.

"You're going to have to tell me eventually." I smiled. "It's nothing serious so, don't worry about it." She frowned but gave up anyway. Thinking about it, it wasn't like I hadn't told her because other than the kiss there wasn't that much going on with me and Artie, at least not officially. I was snapped out of my thoughts when the very person I was thinking of came into the room.

"Mr. Shue, would it be alright if Puck, Sam, Mike and I perform something we've been working on all morning?" He asked. "I don't see why not." was the answer given and suddenly a small snippet of the boys wearing bang extensions came to mind as the Justin Beiber Experience was back. When I heard what the song was I could feel the warmth of a blush slowly creeping up my face when I saw that the song was directed towards me.

Artie was in front of me at the end of the song and it felt like every single person was now holding their breath waiting to see what would happen. He took my hand and sighed nervously before making eye contact. "Es, is there a possibility that….I don't know, you'd be my girlfriend?"

I smiled and leaned in to give him a chaste peck on the lips before answering. "What would give you the idea that there wasn't?" Everyone, mostly the girls, swarmed me at that point with their laughs and smiles. The boys settled with a pats on the back and a high five here or there.

With all the commotion it was easy to miss the fact that Rachel and Jesse had found a way to separate themselves and have a private talk with Mr. Schue. It didn't seem like it was serious, save for the few times Jesse would reach out as if to pull Rachel closer. Everyone had gone back to their seats by the time Jesse and Rachel came front and center.

"We have an announcement to make." said Rachel in her matter of fact tone before softly nudging Jesse to go ahead. "But before that I'd like to take the opportunity to apologize to everyone here for the events of last year. I'd understand if you choose not to accept my apology." He lowered his head in shame but quickly snapped it back up in surprise when he noticed that most of us were smiling in acceptance, except for Finn.

Rachel cleared her throat and then took Jesse's hand in hers, with a smile that made her whole face glow she said the words I had been waiting to hear since the year before. "Jesse and I are back together!" I couldn't believe it and apparently neither could Finn because before I could squeal with joy and congratulate anyone he stormed out of the room.


	29. The Way They Should Be

Everything after yesterday just didn't feel real and to add to my dream like state, our journey to New York would begin in a couple of hours. I figured I'd be able to nap on the plane since the first class seats would be way more comfortable than our original business class. I wasn't sure what had made Terri change her mind but she did and it was a win for the Glee Club members.

Finding my old suitcase was also a win because it was the only one that would be able to support a weeks' worth of clothes plus whatever I decided to bring back. I scanned the outfits I had laid out on my bed before folding them and placing them in the duffle bag. When all was ready I threw on a sweat shirt and made my way out.

I wasn't surprised to see a small group of tired faces once arriving at school. Everyone had been and was too excited to even think about sleeping. "Alright, guys, remember to go to your first and second periods ONLY. Then we'll meet here and make our way to the airport." came Mr. Schue's voice.

There were a few groans here and there but in the end both periods flew by faster than they did any other day and before we knew it we were in Central Park admiring the skyline and everything else New York had to offer. I smiled at the way Rachel seemed to be enjoying it the most. Her dream now was within reach.

I reached for my cell to take a picture for Jesse when I noticed the devil himself had sent me a message.

_Thanks for fixing thing, Es. I'll take it from here._

I didn't think it over a whole lot right then and there, why would I? Things were the way they should be. Things were the way the should've always been.


	30. Epilogue: New York

"Well this sucks." I thought to myself as I followed the spinning of the ceiling fan with my eyes. We were all stuck in our rooms, with the exception of Finn and Rachel who had snuck out, until we wrote an original song.

I wasn't worried about either, not really. I just wasn't too excited about Finn's reaction when he realized Rachel truly was over him. I doubted anyone was looking forward to that.

The doubts I had were proven correct when he stormed in, a slightly agitated look on his face. I was baffled when he went straight for the room's only desk and began going through multiple pages of stationary instead of asking questions or just ranting about the date. I decided to leave him be and join the others next door.

Silently I tip toed out of the room and surprisingly ran into Rachel in the hallway. Her mood seemed to be the exact opposite of Finn's as she practically squealed in excitement and threw her arms around me.

"You will never guess what just happened!" I laughed. "Something other than your date with Baby Face I'm guessing." She frowned but in an instant the smile was back.

"Jesse got me an audition for a show and, well actually he sent them a video of me performing and they liked me!" I wasn't shocked really but it was big news, great news for Rachel. "That's great. So, when do they want you to go in for callbacks?"

Her mood changed again and a somewhat sad expression replaced her happy one. "Tomorrow, I was just on my way to tell Mr. Schue. Do you think you could come with me?" I thought about it briefly knowing she'd need the support. "I don't see why not."

Other than the smile she gave me we didn't talk much the rest of the way, I figured she was using the time to think. I was thinking myself, without Rachel the chances of winning would decrease. That would lead to most likely a very furious group of Glee Club members.

I was just as shocked as Mr. Schue when she stated with confidence that I was to take her place. "Rachel, what's going on?" "I've had the chance to be given an opportunity I've only been able to dream of, Mr. Schue." He sat down slowly taking it all in. "I understand, Rachel, but are you sure this is what you want to do?"

She nodded and sat down in the chair beside him an eager look. "I've been waiting my whole life for this. I've already called my fathers and they are perfectly fine with it and are even thinking of coming to the city for a while." He nodded in understanding and then glanced in my direction.

"What about you, Es?" I looked at Rachel who nodded in encouragement. "I know all of the songs and if we do manage to write an original I'm sure I can pull it off. If Rachel is confident that I can play her part I don't see why not." He nodded again and opened his mouth as if to say something when Finn cut him off.

"I've got a song, Mr. Schue." He said handing him a couple sheets of paper. Mr. Schue scanned the pages and smiled looking up at all three of us. "This might just work out for us." Finn looked a bit confused but I saw what Will meant when he handed me Finn's song. Maybe replacing Rachel would help in more ways than just one.


End file.
